Four Mantras in Relationship
Thich Nhat Hanh: I’d like to talk about the mantras that you just mentioned.
The first one is: “Darling, I’m here for you.”
When you love someone, the best you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?
Oprah: That’s a lovely mantra.
Thich Nhat Hanh: You look into their eyes and you say, “Darling, you know something? I’m here for you.” You offer him or her your presence. And your true presence: you are not preoccupied with the past or the future or your project; you are there for your beloved one.
The second mantra is, “Darling, I know you are there and I am so happy.”
Because you are truly there, you recognize the presence of your beloved as something very precious. And you use your mindfulness to recognize that; embrace your beloved with mindfulness. And she will bloom like a flower. To be loved means to be recognized as existing.
And these two mantras can bring happiness right away, even if your beloved one is not there. You can use your telephone and practice the mantra.
Oprah: Darling, I’m here for you. – Yeah. – And Darling, I know you are there.
Thich Nhat Hanh: The third mantra is what you practice when your beloved one suffers:
“Darling, I know you suffer. That is why I am here for you.”
Before you do something to help him, to help her, your presence already can bring some relief.
Oprah: The acknowledgment of the suffering or the hurting.
Thich Nhat Hanh: Yes.
And the fourth mantra is a little bit more difficult.
That is when you suffer and you believe that your suffering has been caused by your beloved one.
So you suffer so deeply.
And you prefer to go to your room and close the door and suffer alone.
You get hurt.
Oprah: Yes.
Thich Nhat Hanh: And you want to punish him or her for having made you suffer. And the mantra is to overcome that. The mantra is:
“Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice. Please help me.”
You go to him, you go to her, and practice that.
And if you can bring yourself to say that mantra, you suffer less right away.
